


Planet 30

by SharpAttack



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-13
Updated: 2019-09-25
Packaged: 2020-10-17 22:16:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20628413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SharpAttack/pseuds/SharpAttack
Summary: Twelve years in space and Dib has discovered a menagerie of amazing planets that sustained life, as well as past societies. His mission to find new habitable planets for human expandion in the name of peace was a fitting job for the ex paranormal investigator. His whole life was spent looking up at the stars and knowing something was out there.With a glance out of his right window the stars were there, different then his earth constaliations and it still makes his chest flutter with warmth seeing it.





	1. Chapter 1

Twelve years in space and Dib has discovered a menagerie of amazing planets that sustained life, as well as past societies. His mission to find new habitable planets for human expandion in the name of peace was a fitting job for the ex paranormal investigator. His whole life was spent looking up at the stars and knowing something was out there.   
  
With a glance out of his right window the stars were there, different then his earth constaliations and it still makes his chest flutter with warmth seeing it.   
  
“Landing zone found, beginning descent.” The computer says in a mechanical drawl. Dib turns back to look at the pink and green planet, put in his log book as planet 30. Not a very unique name, but he wasn’t the person to name them.   
  
So far in his journeys the only thing that disappointed him was the lack of intelligent alien life. He’s found plenty of alien life, fascinating animals and insects. Flora. But No societies, not even clans. Begrudingly his Dad might be right, that humans really are the most advenced in the galaxy.   
  
The ship shakes as they enter the atmosphere, but soon stabilizes as they slow to land in a field. Dib’s been studying the planet for three earth days, which seems to equate to two cycles. But the sun is further away. The long days may help keep the flora and fauna active enough to produce food. The planet was lush from what he studied from his lab. Lush greens and the water was tinged pink. Which he notates comes from the reflective sky and the slightly different atmosphere compared to more earth like planets. Now on solid ground, he let’s the computer run data on the samples it takes as soon as they land. The information pops up on screen and it pleases Dib.   
  
Breathable, surprisingly clean air, the dirt samples where fertile- The computer equates it to possible early volcanic activity.   
  
Dib leaves the command center to go back into the living quarters, it was messy. Books were strewn about in various stages of being read. His bed was made but there was a bunch of equipment and parts on it. But what he was focused on was the later in the center, he climbs his way up and pulls himself into an observation room. Completely reinforced glass and he looks around in awe. It was a pink field of flowers and what looked like tall grass. In the distance were tall rocky mountains, white clouds slowly saunter across the pastel pink sky. Dib spins to look behind him. Yellow barked trees with leafy green leaves and red fruit hang temptingly, like the apple tree in eden.   
  
A bubbling of excitment fills Dib. This was the adventuring he needed. A whole new fresh world with no human interaction other then him. It was gorgeous and he can’t wait for the computer deem it safe to traverse with or without his hazmat suit. He preferred ones without it. To touch, smell and feel the alien flora.   
  
Judging from pure looks, it seemed like a planet already habitable for humans. Dib’s slowly gotten a pretty good eye to judging safe planets. But he always lets the computer puzzle it out for him.   
  
\----   
  
Zim had seen it, seen the ship. No one had seen one of those in eons if his shell was to believed. ‘Pak.’   
  
It corrects his thoughts which makes his feelers flattening on his head from the correction. He was just about to go back into his burrow when he saw the spark in the sky like a star falling.   
  
‘Impossible, defective thought.’ Zim hisses, turning a hand around to scratch at the metal with his claws. He hates that word that it uses so often with him.   
  
But it isn’t hurt, he knows this. He slams his hand down on the stone in contempt frowninging as he eyes the field that it had landed in.   
  
Curiosity was the downfall of Zim in many ways, it’s why he’s shunned by his people no matter how much he shows he’s worth. He shows up every offering ceremony in hopes that the tallest will see his worth with his offerings, grander then the last. His hopes were to at least be accepted back into society and at best for the tallest to finally see his worth and take him as one of their many mates. Then Zim could finally relax.   
  
All of these thoughts were going through his mind as he stalks through the tall grass. For speed and stealth, he was using his arms and legs to speed through the grass. He smells a slight burnt smell which put his antennae on high alert as he peeks up through the tall grass, just barely making the top of it to see the ship.   
  
‘Unknown ship, no signs of resisty or friendly signea. Proceed with caution.’ Zim’s shell informs him as he moves even slower to observe the ship.   
  
There was a clearing in a wide berth before he could get closer. The burnt smell was the grass around the ship. He looks around from where he is, narrowing his eyes as he spots a short black mass next to it.   
  
‘Unknown alien specimen.’   
  
Zim’s antenna perk up as the being seems to stand to it’s full height. The ‘alien’ was MASSIVE, perhaps taller then even the Tallest. Unknowingly Zim chirps in surprise. When the alien turns to look in his direction. He has two options. Run or attempt contact in hope of impressing the tall creature. Even though the features where hideous, the pale skin and the ood black bristles on the hair of the being as it comes closer.   
  
‘Not prepared for combat, retreat.’   
  
Zim ignores the dumb shell as he tests the waters poking his head out of the grass. Making his meekest, cutest noises to disarm and hopefully make the creature know he wasn’t a threat.   
  
The alien makes a noise that has Zim tilting his head as he crawls out more. Attempting to make nice by flopping onto his side and attempting to roll onto his back to show weakness but hisses as the stupid pak doesn’t allow him to do his mating displays.   
  
“Woah, what are you?” The creature speaks and Zim doesn’t understand.   
  
‘Analyzing language, need more imput to establish communication.’   
  
Zim ignores and chirps again as an odd arm appendage reaches for him to pat his head. He makes sure to make the deep purring noise to alert that he is a free mate.   
  
“You are definitely the cutest thing I’ve come across…. Hmm, simplistic clothing too.” The alien mermurs the last bit.   
  
‘Analyzation complete.’   
  
“What’s this thing on your back huh?”   
  
Zim frowns as the pak prompts him to repeat that back, he does though. The words are odd but he understands the meaning of it. It comes out clunky but it makes the alien gasp as it’s repeated.   
  
\-------   
  
Dib can’t believe it, first this was one of the most spectacular early fauna interactions he has ever had. Then he noticed the simple fabric clothing, it was scratchy but covered the creature in a robe like fashion. It was dirty but was distinctly pink, like the large reflective pink eyes of the small green creature that just spoke to him in english! It was just a mimick of what he said but still.   
  
The adorable creature keeps making deep cat like purring noises, but inbetween would be chirps. The skin texture was tough and smooth but distinctly still skin. Not a shell.   
  
But the backpack on it was interesting, almost out of place. It was metal and looked futuristic. Curiously he reaches for it. It flashes red and a sharp metal appendage comes out of it and scratches Dib’s hand as more come out and ran away with the alien making a loud shouting like noise as it goes. He clicks at his glasses, making sure the recorded the whole interaction. They did and it makes Dib grin even as he holds his bleeding hand close to him. This is everything he’s been waiting for!


	2. Chapter 2

Dib was already exploring, there weren’t many animals persay, more so insects and flora. He was scanning plant life as he went. The tantalizing cherry red fruit was edible and was nearly sickly sweet. Dib found a river and was shocked to see its purification was fresher then what He had on the ship. He took about three vials to analyze more in his ship.   
  
But what he was really on the look out for was that cute little alien. He needs to learn more about them. They were like an insect but not quite.. Maybe it’s a completely new thing, not human like but unlike anything ever before.   
  
It was exactly why he went on this mission to help expand humanities reaches, in the hopes he would discover alien life. Intelligent alien life.   
  
He can’t help but replay the scene over and over in his head. The green oval face with the bright solid colored eyes. Then antennae, it was like something out of a dream. The response from it adorable with it’s cricket like chirps and the deep throaty purr like a satisfied cat.   
  
Dib crouches in a bush quickly as he sees down the river four more of the creatures, filling up rudimentary buckets of water. None was the one he saw, no silver shell on their back and some of them were purple instead. Their clothes still crude but cleaner than the one that peaked out from the tall grass. He hits record on his glasses and watches them fill the buckets. Chittering too each other.   
  
Three of them leave, it left one who wasn’t done, it was the shortest of the group, even shorter than the one that he’d seen earlier. Even after the buckets were filled it lingered. Dib was curious why, but he sucks in a breath as he sees the one from the tall grass.   
  
It chittered and the one by the watered turned with a chirp. The two seemed to greet eachother by bumping heads for a minute before splitting. Tall Grass chittered and pulled out two purple colored rocks out from a tattered grass sack it looked like. Giving the smaller one to the Short Lake Alien.   
  
Tall Grass was very animated as they throw their head back in a laughing like manner holding the rock high in the air with it’s claws. They were a semi bipedal species it seemed.   
  
Short Lake put their hand to their face with what Dib would call a worried expression. A soft chitter stops Tall Grass from laughing.   
  
It was a facsinating interaction.   
  
\------   
  
“Well.” Zim’s feelers where flat on his head. “If they deny me my rightful place within their colony. I found a new Tallest to court. From the look of them they have no mates.” Skoodge gives his hatchmate a surprised look.   
  
“A new Tallest?” Skoodge covered his mouth like what he said could get him hurt for speaking it. But he drops them. “Zim that’s…. Terrifying. More Tallest could make the colonies get all fighty again…”   
  
Zim huffs. “Well. That’s their fault! Zim will make a new colony with my Tallest if Red and Purple deny me, the spectacular Zim’s birthright!”   
  
Skoodge nervously picks his carrying stick with the buckets attached. “Zim, I… Be careful.” He chatters softly, worry in his big eyes. He keeps the stick balanced on his shoulders as he puts the small sugar stone into his grass bag. “I don’t want anything worse to happen to you.”   
  
Zim turns his back on Skoodge, hissing and clicking as the larger sugar rock is placed into his bag. “Nothing is worse then exile Skood. Even death would’ve been better. If they deny my reentry with the rarest gift I can provide… I am done with them. They do not deserve Zim if they do that.”   
  
“Okay, the ceremony is starting earlier in hopes you’d get there too late to see the Tallest. In the next two sun movements.”   
  
Zim’s feelers go straight up in surprise. “T- what? The timing hasn’t changed in centuries! How dare they!” They go flat again as Zim grumbles. “Complete dookie.”   
  
He looks across the river and notices a familiar alien across the way. Zim does the higher pitch chirp that’s meant to attract a mate and Skoodge looks at him wide eyed before turning to look across the river. He gasps as he sees a tall monster rise from across the way halfway in a bush.   
  
“Z-Zim???” Skoodge questions with fear as his hatchmate discards his bag and starts doing his mate attraction displays. With two large steps the tallest creature Skoodge has ever seen is there. It makes him cower. But Zim just makes a deep purr as it pets his head and speaks in a strange tongue.   
  
Skoodge whimpers in fear, which makes Skoodge the center of attention, Zim and the monster looking at him.   
  
Zim’s antannae perk up. “Maybe we could both be accepted!” He chirps and clicks. But Skoodge just shakes his head at the odd hand that is now reaching out for him. He ‘Eeeps.’ and turns tail to run back to the colony.   
  
“Aw, man. I scared him.” the Alien says and Zim repeats it back. Drawing the alien’s attention back on him. “Can you only repeat what I say?”   
  
He was going to repeat that but his shell told him to say ‘no’ instead. So he does. The Alien gasps in excitement. “Really?”   
  
“Yes.”   
  
“What’s your name?” This time, the pak requests him to repeat the question back. “I’m Dib, now you?”   
  
It takes awhile for his pak to supply him with his own name but in the strange tongue. “Zim… Zim. Zim!” He likes the way his name sounds in this language. He laughs manically again. “Zim. zim, Zim!” He repeats with excitement.   
  
The Dib laughs at the antics, cooing a bit. “Zim huh?”   
  
Zim likes his name said by the Dib more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm having a lot of fun with this!


	3. Chapter 3

Zim is slightly annoyed as the tall alien follows him towards the colony, he keeps trying to warn him, but his pak can only supply. “Bad, stay.” But does the fool listen? No!   
  
They reach the outskirts of it, Zim after realizing that Dib would keep following quickly went along the long way so they’d be above the area the ceremony would take place. Zim tries to tell him to stay again, luckily this time it works as The Dib watches with a wide mouth at the large colony gathering to pay tribute to the Tallest Irkens in this area.   
  
Zim rushes along the hidden areas, past guards and other irkens alike to make it to the line of tributing drones.   
  
Soon the tallest emerge from their cave. Luxurious robes adorn them as they wave to the cheering colony.   
  
“Let the tribute begin!” Red yells and fires are lit in two stone bowls. The cheers get louder but quiet as Purple raises their hand.   
  
“Now! Who will be the first tribute?” He yells.   
  
There is a nervous beat and honestly, Zim might as well get over with it as he scurries through the crowd. “I, ZIM! Will bring the first and best tribute for my Tallests appreciation!”   
  
There are gasps through the crowd as Zim appears in front of the tallest Irks, bowing low on the stairs as he pulls out the sugar crystal. “For you my illustrious tallest, the rarest gift I could find. A pure crystal of sugar. I hope it is to you-”   
  
The crystal is smacked out of his hand and into a guards face. Zim stares up with terror as Purple glares down at him.   
  
“How DARE you keep showing up like this Zim. You are exiled, banished!.”   
  
\-----   
  
Dib watches with a furrowed brow as the amazing displays of this race seem to turn violent, the leaders- Or what Dib assume are, cruelly slapping away the gift that Zim had seemed so proud of earlier at the river. The Red irken steps over and picks up Zim by the tunic, but quickly drops him as the shell protects it’s host like it did with Dib. Zim huddles close to himself, obviously in terror. There is a loud hissing through all the irkens, ones with weapons stepping forward.   
  
He knows he should just study this, but Zim was the only one that seemed to want to be near him. So he moves quickly slidding down the short ‘cliff’ edge. “Leave him alone!” Dib shouts.   
  
The small crowd parting for him so he can pick up Zim. He was the tallest there, ahead taller then the big leader ones. Zim clings to him with wide eyes and perked antannae as he huffs. “Your society is shit if you treat someone like this!”   
  
Dib knows they don’t understand him but all that matters is nobody stops him as he walks towards the area Zim entered at, the alien cradled hin his arm. The claws barred into his shoulders. He requests the glasses to take him back to his ship from where he is and starts walking as night slowly falls on them.   
  
\------   
  
Zim was beyond stunned and enamored even more with the alien as he was carried all the way to the field and then put into it’s strange ship, as his shell tells him, patting his head with his warm hand.   
  
He had frozen, he had seen that his tallests where angrier then they ever had been. Zim allows himself to nest in the soft fabric that stank of the Dib, feeling safe and warm as Dib moves about the well lit space.   
  
Everything smelled like him and it makes Zim tired. But he perks back up when Dib sits next to him, holding out a tall fruit. His feelers go full up at the sight, they were called tall fruit because only the tallests could reach it. Zim looks at Dib then the fruit.   
  
  
“Is…. Mine?” Zim questions, his shell has been analyzing everything since they entered here and has somehow been able to tap into the computer on board and download more of the language. It floats his mind, but his mouth still has trouble speaking it. The Dib nods.   
  
“Yeah, all yours Zim.”   
  
Zim gingerly takes it from the alien and sniffs at it, he’s only had these when they hit the ground and by then their hard and bitter. Zim bites into the soft flesh and makes a different pitched purr at the sweet sweet taste, Dib’s warm hand petting his head that he pushes against affectionately.   
  
  
The Dib will be a good tallest to a new Colony alien or not Zim decides.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHH THANK Y'ALL FOR THE KIND COMMENTS, THEY HONESTLY MAKE ME FEEL SO GOOD <3


	4. Chapter 4

Zim’s comprehension of the human language has gotten easier, but it’s been harder to speak it. He can do short phrases and simplistic word structures, almost like a toddler Dib thinks.   
  
But having Zim on his bouts of exploring has helped immensely in studying the world. Dib’s curious nature being satisfied by the small alien as he fingers things out. One of their early excursions Dib had noticed something crawling in the perfectly purified water river, he hasn’t noticed any animals in it before, so of course he reached in to pick it up.   
  
He’s shocked to see a little robot, a small horseshoe crab looking creature struggles in his gripe, it squirts water at him and he drops it, it scurries off as Zim laughs.   
  
“What was that?” Dib asks after a few minutes. Zim goes back to cleaning his antannae. He seems to have an issue with Dib’s water burning him somehow, an allergic reaction perhaps?   
  
Zim shrugs. “Water crawlers..” He says and then frowns before saying. “Purification helpers.”   
  
Dib tilts his head, noting that thats why the water was so pure. “How do you know that?” Zim reaches around to his back to slap at the pack on his back. When he saved Zim from his own people, he’d noticed none of them had the futuristic looking shell on his back.   
  
“So it tells you stuff?”   
  
“Mhm, annoying.” Zim hisses out the last part mad as he shakes his head to get the last of the water off his antannae.    
  
“Where did you get it?” Dib’s been meaning to ask that for awhile. Zim’s feelers go flat and he frowns.   
  
“Bad place, Zim sent to die…. Beasts and bad alien.” Zim seemed upset at the thought, but Dib perks up.   
  
“An alien? Meaning one different from you? Can you take me?” He asks excited, Zim’s feelers raise a little as he turns to look properly at Dib.   
  
“Danger.” He insists simply, turning back to the river to stick his three toed claw feet in. “Bad things. Should be dead. Lived though, always live.” Zim nods to himself.   
  
Dib reaches out to put a hand on Zim’s small shoulder. “Please Zim? It would really help me if you took me there.”   
  
Zim frowns and stares him down.   
  
\------   
  
The Dib has a death wish, but Zim will relent. He knows the Dib is on a mission and perhaps the more he helps, the easier it will be to woo. His shell has been of no help well he attempts to get the alien interested.   
  
The normal mating calls and actions have been accepted with kind warm hands, but nothing bounding. No climb bites. It’s almost infuriating to keep putting himself through displays and having them sail right over The Dib’s head.   
  
Zim leads Dib through the stone lands. Barely any plant life in the barren area. The day was dark with cloud cover and it makes the area even more quiet and alone. It stretches for a long distence. But his destination isn’t far. A deep missing square of stone leads into the earth with crumbling broken stairs.   
  
The further they go the darker it gets till they hit the bottom, pink light gleams from tubes on the wall as Zim walks through the space that he’d found three years ago. Shuffling along the ground as it goes further. The Dib was quiet as he seemed to study everything with curiosity.   
  
Zim hopes none of the cave dwelling Digestors show up. That was the danger last time, there were a lot of destroyed side rooms that Zim pulls Dib away from when he tries to investigate them. Soon they reach the end of the dimly lit hallway and Dib gasps.   
  
\--------   
  
An underground decaying city! Dib leans against the creaky railing to look at the place. Zim grabs on to his jacket with a distressed chirp.   
  
It was crumbled but advanced, the lighs still thrummed and the ceiling was lit up in a pink glow. Dib puts all of his weight dumply on the railing which he pays for quickly when it breaks under his hand and the only thing that keeps him from plummeting oh, about 30 stores is Zim who wraps his arms around his waist as the thing on his back springs to life with spider like legs that dig into the wall to keep them up.   
  
“Dib FOOL!” Zim shouts with a bunch of furious sounding hisses and clicks. Dib gulps as Zim rights him.   
  
“Heheh… That was uh. Close huh?” Dib looks where the railing was, distantly he hears it clatter. Zim’s legs retract with a buzz. Then he’s climbed like a jungle gym, wincing as claws scratch him up.   
  
“You must listen to Zim!! Fool! Smeet brain!” Zim growls and honestly this is the angriest Dib has seen him.


	5. Chapter 5

  
Dib is lead through the decaying city, Zim forcibly holding his sleeve as he drags him to some unknown destination.   
  
Zim’s feelers go straight up and they twitch from side to side before going flat. “Woah-” Zim yanks Dib off course and drags him up some stairs to hide behind a crumbling wall. The alien’s surprisingly soft palms of his hand moving to cover his mouth as his antannae go back up, twitching every so often.   
  
Soon even Dib hears the noise that had startled Zim, it was a dripping snarling sound mixed with some snuffling like a pig. Zim releases his mouth so he can peer around the corner. Dib takes the chance to turn slowly to peak over the wall Zim had whipped around to grab at his sleeve to try and get him back down, but Dib doesn’t budge this time as he gaps at the four great dane sized monsters in the street. All their noses to the ground as they sniff where they were.   
  
He moves his hand to hit record on his glasses, they had fur but also sharp bone like armor along their body. It was fascinating to watch them circle the area had been. They must have caught their scent. They slowly start moving towards them and Zim gives a trill. That makes Dib turn. But Suddenly Zim with his spider legs leaps over the wall, startling not just Dib but the aliens.   
  
\-----   
  
Stupid, dumb Dib! Digestors were the biggest danger irkens face. Zim tries to stab at them with his spear legs as they screamed at him. They growl as he dances around them, going as high as the legs well allow him when they try to leap at him.   
  
He does his fighting hiss at them an open mouth deep pitched noise that doesn’t deter the beasts. Zim nickes one of them with his leg but then he whimpers as he feels his body suddenly go on fire, he uses the last of his strength after that to land on top of a tall piece of rubble, twitching.   
  
He hears Dib shout but all he can dow is whimper as his shell yells at him in his head.   
  
\-----   
  
Dib didn’t know what to do when Zim was attacking the beasts. But when Dib saw a medium sized gray alien with a gun. Well. He did the first thing that came to mind.   
  
He’d lunged from behind the wall, tackling the alien to the ground, sending the gun skittering across the pavement. Dib punches the alien but gets flung off by powerful arms, sending him skidding to the ground. The great dane sized monsters were still focused on getting the incapacitated Zim.   
  
It speaks to him, but he has no idea what it says. It sounds garbled. Dib points at him. “Who are you and why did you hurt zim!” He yells. It looks to its wrist and does something Dib can’t see.   
  
“Who are you and why are you helping an Irken?” It questions in perfect english and it stuns Dib for a few seconds, he looks towards the monsters trying to eat poor Zim.   
  
“I’ll only answer that if you stop them from trying to eat Zim!” The alien crosses his arms and looks to where the beasts where and then makes an odd whistle sound that make the creatures bound off past Dib and the Alien.   
  
Dib rushes over to the rubble Zim landed on and quickly cradles the twitching alien, holding him close. He’s only known him for a few days, but it hurts to see him like this. “Now answer my question.” The grey alien demands.   
  
“I’m… Dib Membrane, I’m a peaceful colonizer looking for planets for my people to expand to.” Dib holds Zim close, hopefully not crushingly so. But he doesn’t want to give this alien a chance to hurt him again.   
  
They stare each other down before the grey alien huffs. “Lard Nar, Vortian guard. I’m meant to keep Irkens away from this city.”   
  
“Why?” Dib demands. “Why are you guarding this place.”   
  
“You are a new space species it seems. Irkens were once the most vile and horrible creatures to plague the universe. Always looking for control and power. Enslaved billions of species and killed even more.” Lard Nar states simply crossing his arms. “My people found a way to disarm them and we blew them back to the stone age. But, unlike Irkens. We are kinder. There was a nursery with a new batch of irkens and we let them live and begin a society. Under the agreement that they do not possess technology and never enter this city.” Nar glares at the heap in Dib’s arms.   
  
“That Irken somehow broke in ages ago and the most devious irken device attached to him. A pak. It’s a second brain as well as a weapon.”   
  
“His name is Zim.” Dib answers hostily, unsure how to deal with all this information other then to snap. “Plus, he’s docile. He only attacked your guard dogs because they tried to kill us!”   
  
“Don’t be stupid, they would’ve only killed him. We trained them to only eat irkens and the food we put in their bowl.” Lard Nar waves Dib’s hostility off. “Listen, If I were you. I’d just leave this place. I can get your people in contact with the Galactic union and you can find plenty of habitable planets through them I’m sure.”   
  
“What- So you can keep a bunch of helpless being hostage even though they didn’t do anything to you? Just because their now dead ancestors did that doesn’t mean they well.” Dib defends them. Lard Nar schuffs, but then a look crosses his face.   
  
“Tell me… What has been this, ‘Zim’ s behavior towards you? What sounds does he make?”   
  
Dib has a bad feeling. “Uh, chirping, purring and affectionate stuff like that. Like an animal we have back home…”   
  
Lard Nar starts laughing but quickly stops himself. “Okay, okay. You don’t like that we keep these guys under wraps and stuck in the stone age because it’s ‘unfair.’ To treat them like this for their ancestors?”   
  
“Yes…”   
  
“And this Irken has been following you around, chirping and purring… Has he rolled onto his back?”   
  
  
“He tries to?” Dib has no idea where this is coming from, but Lard Nar looks like the cat who got the cream.   
  
“I connected to your human database through your glasses. Tell me Dib Membrane. How tall are you?” Lard nar steps closer with a sharp toothed grin.   
  
“6’8, why?” Zim seems to have woken up and at the sight of Lard Nar hisses and now clinging to Dib.   
  
“Danger!” He yells, pointing at Lard Nar with his antannae flat on his head and eyes narrow.   
  
Lard Narr throws his head back laughing again before forcing himself to stop with giggles. “Okay, so first. You are the tallest being on this planet. Secondly, the irkens value height over everything and find it the most attractive of a mate and thirdly. This Zim that’s been following you around has- Hehehehe.” Lard Nar makes a snorting noise as Dib’s face goes red.   
  
“Oh my god.” Dib looks at the now confused irken, looking between the two.


	6. Chapter 6

Zim hates this, his shell isn’t responding and now he doesn’t know what The Dib says. His face has changed color again with which is worrying.   
  
He glares at the grey alien as he clings to his tallest. Hissing when it makes loud noise from it’s razor sharp mouth. The Dib makes him wheeze when he hugs a little too tight and his antannae flatten on his head as his alien shouts.   
  
\----   
  
“Oh calm down. It’s completely rational. Your people get the planet, the galactic alliegence will meet with your leaders and well. Prior to them being a militarized race, irkens alledgedly where good breeding mates. Hell even some Vortians have ancient irken DNA. They could just go with whoever apparently. So fun.” Lard Nar explains, they’d moved to sit outside the guards living courters, the building oddly clunky in the crumbling futuristic irken city. “All you have to do is show that you have an irken mate and then fight the tallests.”   
  
“I just- It’s can’t just do that! I’d be taking advantage! Fighting or doing anythign with..” Dib looks down at Zim’s big pink eyes and his face goes red again. “P-plus! He’s so small, he could be like a kid-”   
  
“Him? He’s literally older then you. He’s like… Okay so judging from your status, young adult right? If he was a human he would be an adult pushing close to old adult.” Lard Nar shrugs waving a hand in the air as he picks up his cup. “Also, it’s not taking advantage if he’s literally been doing mating displays for you this whole time. You’re taller than any of the tallest irkens on this planet, plus Zim being exiled there are three possibilities for him. Find a mate to join him in exile and start their own colony, join another colony- Which means he would be the lowest on the food chain and probably bullied a lot. Or well technically die. But this little shit found a pak.” Lard Nar waves his hand at the sitting Dib who keeps Zim close. The tiny irken hisses as the vortian’s hand gets near.   
  
“I… That’s just.”   
  
“If your thing is about justice for the irkens. This is the only way, you can get them out of their forced ostraziation and get the planet as you want. Plus, if humans are as tall as you are. You could probably use them as servants.”   
  
Dib narrows his eyes. “Why do you even want this?”   
  
“If it’s the humans problem, that means I won’t be forced to be on this planet anymore- Might get moved closer and be able to spend more than a month with my kids.” Lard Nar huffs and Dib deflates at that.   
  
He guesses that’s an understandable reason. “I… Need to think about this..”   
  
“Alright, tell me when you do it.” Lard Nar waves off Dib as he stands up to leave. “Also how the breeding goes-”   
  
Dib glares at Lard Nar, red in the face as he laughs. The sharp noise echoing in the crumbling city as he lets his computer glasses lead him out the way they came. Once far enough away he realizes something.   
  
“Zim, why haven’t you spoken?” He asks curiously as he begins up the stairs. Zim had begin to doze off in his arms, but at his name he tilts his head back to look up at him. Chirps, clicks and a quick purr is in his response. “Are you okay?”   
  
The response to that is Zim to nuzzle into his chest with a whine. “You did have a rough day.” Dib works out one of his hands so he can pat Zim’s head.   
  
\-----   
  
Zim’s pak is still not back to full operations. Whatever that means. Zim can’t understand Dib, but he knows he’s safe and this was the perfect chance for Zim to get whiney and act weak. Force The Dib to care for him. Prompt him like a young smeet to learn how to care for a possibly mate.   
  
The alien was quite stupid, yet smart it seemed at times. Perhaps Zim needs to figure out new ways to court him. Perhaps… Zim closes his eyes and nuzzles closer as the rythem of Dib’s walking tires him out.   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the short chapter and the quality. My laptop charger is broken and I had to type this up on my ipod. I'll try to rectify this before my next update if i can!!


	7. Chapter 7

Zim’s pak is still not back to full operations. Whatever that means. Zim can’t understand Dib, but he knows he’s safe and this was the perfect chance for Zim to get whiney and act weak. Force The Dib to care for him. Prompt him like a young smeet to learn how to care for a possibly mate.

The alien was quite stupid, yet smart it seemed at times. Perhaps Zim needs to figure out new ways to court him. Perhaps… Zim closes his eyes and nuzzles closer as the rythem of Dib’s walking tires him out. They were not far from the Dib’s warm ship…

When Zim wakes up, he’s covered by a blanked on the Dib’s ‘bed.’ As he’s called it.

He quickly realized his shell is working again as he stretches. There was a sweet smell in the air that his antennae perk up for. Zim chirps and waits, nothing. Zim frowns. He chirps louder. Still nothing. Zim hisses to himself as he leaves the comfort of the bed in search of his Dib. He decided to drag the furry blanket with him, wrapping it around himself. “Okay, so I just gotta figure this out… maybe I just ‘beat’ the tallests…”

The Dib mutters to himself as he makes clicking sounds on a device. Zim hears the tallest and ‘beat’ and get excited. Does The Dib alien want to challenge the Tallests? That’s even better then starting their own colony! And if Dib is thinking about fighting the Tallests, that means he’s accepted Zim as a mate!

Just not officially…. Zim flattens his antannae as he realizes he can’t allow to officially be claimed in his current state. His little more than rag worker drone robe. No, it would not do. Zim leaves Dib to his planning as he discards the furry blanket back on the bed before making his pak open the door for him. The morning sky was a dusky pink with white clouds. Zim skitters off with ideas in mind.

\---------

Dib’s worried, he’d been pacing and crunching numbers for hours and when he finally got up to go check on the sleeping Irken he was gone. He’d stepped outside and called for him, but no answer and he couldn’t see too well in the dark early morning hours. That last half a earth day.

He’s been pacing with the door open, hoping Zim would get back soon. He doesn’t even know why he’s so worried. He’s lived on this planet his whole life. He just was… Zim was interesting and small, and cute with his big insect like eyes and cute noises. But also undeniably smart and had a bit of an anger streak in him.

When he hears footsteps he whips around, hoping to see Zim. But is instead surprised to see Lard Nar. “Hello Dib-human.” He greets politely with a nod of his head and a sack in his hand.

“Hey, what are you doing here?”

“Aw, you seem unhappy to see me.” Lard Nar teases as he pushes past Dib to place the bag on his dining table. He opens the bag. “Anyway, I tinkered with something to help you decide.”

“Listen- I still don’t know about this-” Dib gets an odd metal wristband shoved in his face.

“This, is a universal translator. Put it on and you’ll understand all languages in the galaxy as well as speak in said language.” Lard Nar puts it onto Dib’s wrist with a click. “It’ll help you communicate with your Irken. I realized something when you left, that usually the first intelligent species found in new areas are treated as savages or unintelligent because of a culture difference.” Lard explains as Dib marvels at the device.

“How does it work?” Lard Nar sighs as it seems Dib had tuned him out on the serious issue he brought up.

“It’s working right now. I hear Vortian when you speak and I’m speaking Vortian now too.” He explains simply, waving his hand. Dib can’t help a squeal of excitment but Lard Nar notices something.

“Where’s Zim?”

\---------

Zim has gathered the proper flowers. Bubblepops, sweet grass flowers and he’d even gotten lucky to find a tallest fruit bud on the ground. He ground it all up with water and it made a clear tinged pink mush that he rubes on his neck and thighs. There wasn’t much he could really do with his robe, but he hung the long tattered sheet to dry after scrubbing at it in the river. It was cleaner than it has been in awhile.

Before the current Tallests, Zim’s parents were in charge and things were different…. More free and safe. Miyuki was a strong leader and she kept everyone safe, well Spork… He had taken a kind role to his underlines. Mating wasn’t always for the Tallests to decide.

When Zim was young one of his elder hatchmates was being taught by Spork to make this sweet smelling good tasting mush to attract a possible mate….

“Then some Tallest fruit buds and you mash it together Tin.” Spork’s voice was always low and calm, well Miyuki’s always had a bite to it. Just like Zim!

Zim was just out of his fumbling smeet phase and hated to be split from his male creator. Always near. Tin was the shortest of his hatchmates and had hatched with an extra set of feelers that had been removed. It had kept her from finding someone, Zim had overheard his parents worried about mates for her. This harvest festival using a method of growth that Tin had created was a chance for her usefulness to help her find a mate.

“Zim want!” He whined reaching up on the stone counter to try to take the mortar and pestle with the sweet smelling combination. Spork had just laughed, lifting the youngest smeet to hold against his chest, warm and safe feeling.

“When you’re older okay? Today is about Tin. I promise we’ll do this too when you reach of age.” Spork had spoken sweetly and cradled his smeet close.

It never did come…

Digestors had attacked, slaughtered and destroyed the colony. Spork had hidden away as many smeets he could, his own and others. Zim was placed in a large pot with Tin, Tek and Skoodge. It was half filled with water and the four huddled together in the cold night well screams and hisses filled the air. Zim remembers being taken out first. A bloody hand lifting him close as Miyuki moved to place him near a dying Spork. Zim, Tin and three of his other hatchmates made it. Out of twenty.

Spork even in pain and death tried to comfort his dear smeets. Miyuki was never the same and though believed heroic and amazing by killing two Digestors. She disappeared one day. Leaving the colony leaderless.

Stares down at the paste, tears falling as he tries to wipe them up. He doesn’t even know where the others ended up. After Red and Purple took charge. So many things changed. Tin had been forced to leave with Sizz Lorr in an agreement to share resources that helped save their colony but Zim misses her. The other three he has no clue… They where just gone. Vanished.

He wipes up his tears, he can’t be crying now! Today is where he will have a partner! That wishes to challenge the Tallest!

He was all ready, the sweet smelling good rubbed into his skin, his robe clean and a chance to have a safe better life again.

Zim turns to go back to the ship only to hiss in shock behind him. “Zim.” Tek said firmly, out of the hidden pot children. Tek had been giving the best advantages. She was a mate in the Tallests harem as well as a guard.

“By order of my Tallests I must follow orders.” She points a spear at him. “Do not try to ru-”

Zim yells, his legs popping out of the shell and running him away. “Zim! Get back here!” Tek curses behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this chapter is at all weird!! Still waiting on a new charger. Lots of real life stuff is in the way and its been hard to spend time typing this out on a touch screen.


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